It’s easy to feel afraid of your feelings when you begin to feel depressed or anxious. It can feel even more frightening when the feelings are extreme and you feel like you can no longer cope.

Usually these feelings are trying to tell you something and if you learn how to read yourself there are really positive things you can do to make yourself feel better.

I am not an expert, but I have the experience of running the Sunshine and Showers: Depression and anxiety programme in Hart for 10 years.

Firstly, go and see your GP and share with them how you are feeling. The GP may try several things including:

• Anti-depressants or anti-anxiety tablets – these take about three months before you will begin to notice their impact. Be prepared to try a couple of types until you find what suits you. Sometimes there is a biological reason for the way we feel.
• The GP may send you to one of the IAPT programmes, every area seems to have a different name including Talkplus and italk. You get 6-8 session with a trained counsellor/psychologist and they will help to give you some coping strategies, CBT (Cognitive Behaviour Therapy) or someone to chat things through with. This professional should report back to your GP with any recommendations for future treatment. This service is offered by email, telephone or face-to-face depending on circumstance. There are waiting lists in some areas so it might take a little while to get an appointment.
• Following the IAPT appointments, the GP may send you to a consultant psychologist with the hospital.
• If you have a reactive depression – depression because you are reacting to life events or life’s stresses and strains your GP will recommend a talking therapy and that you seek personal counselling privately. Some life events can be so traumatising that you can
  suffer PTSD (post-traumatic stress disorder). Adopters can suffer from either post adoption depression (similar to post-natal depression) when you first adopt, or
  secondary trauma as you may be plunged into your child’s nightmare trauma world, or have continuous anxiety and stress over prolonged periods constantly fighting for the
  wellbeing of your child.

For women especially, but also men of a certain age – you may be going through hormonal changes and some people need HRT to help them through this time.

“I don’t want medication.” – what else can I do?

Learn how to take control of depression and/or anxiety instead of it controlling you.

Depression can often be caused by things feeling out of control and this can lead to both anxiety and suicidal feelings. It’s important to develop a ‘Tool Kit’ that fits you. I can put loads of suggestions on here, but these may just be personal solutions for my own challenges, so you need to develop [your
name] shaped solutions for [your name] shaped problems. Remember this is not a quick fix cure – it takes time, but slowly, little by little things will improve.

Start by observing yourself

What makes you feel worse? What makes you feel better? Are there any times of year when things get worse? (holidays and Christmas are common triggers). Are there any tasks that make you feel better or worse?

Make a mental note of these, your mood patterns, things in your life that bring you down.

Some things you can change immediately, whereas for others you may need to use your Mental Health and Wellbeing First Aid Tool Kit. You choose what you want in your kit – some things are tangible objects, others are things to remember e.g. words and phrases.

Mental Health and Wellbeing ‘First Aid Tool Kit’

If you have a young child you get used to travelling with a nappy bag and a First Aid Kit. You should consider what you need in your kit for your wellbeing. If you can level your mood and keep on an even keel, instead of experiencing the highs and lows, then you begin to take control of the depression or anxiety instead of it controlling you. When you reach a point where you are in control you will find that
things really do seem brighter.

Feed your body

• Vitamin B supplements – these work naturally with your body and help to improve your mood. They are great for women going through menopause too.
• Vitamin D supplements – is there a cycle to when you are more depressed? Are you more
  depressed in winter months? Your body produces Vitamin D through its exposure to
  sunshine. This is recommended for people with SADS – Seasonal Affective Disorders.
• Eat – if necessary, little and often. Anxiety can feel the same as hunger and excitement, or you may not want to eat. This means that when we are under stress our brain may misinterpret some of our feelings.
• Sleep – a lack of sleep can make you feel more hypervigilant as you can’t shut down your
  thoughts and relax enough. A lack of sleep always makes things feel worse and problems
  bigger than they need to be.
• If your GP has prescribed something – take it regularly.

Mindfulness

There are plenty of books tapes and phone apps on mindfulness out there. These work for many people;
hence why they are popular, but if it doesn’t work for you – fine, then think laterally and use the principles of mindfulness instead.

If you think about mindfulness activities, they do two major things: they slow your heart rate down and help you relax, or they help you tap into your body’s own natural rhythms. What else does the same thing that you enjoy doing?

• Jogging or walking – rhythmic, repetitive, and helps you process things as you walk or jog.
• Baking – rubbing in fat to flour, beating a batter, kneading bread. They all have a rhythm to them. Take deep breaths and focus on what you are doing. Your heart will slow down and you will feel more relaxed.
• Knitting – again rhythmic, repetitive. Gives you a buzz because you are being creative, but also helps calm you down and slow your thoughts so you can think.
• Painting a wall or weeding the garden – you get a buzz from feeling productive but notice your breathing as you do repetitive movements.
• Popping bubble wrap
• Boxing